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We went in the house, checking the TV room and bathrooms first. No Wanda. Jill took the second floor while I went from room to room on the first. I felt pretty foolish looking in the closets, but what the heck. When I caught myself bending over to look under the bed in the guest room, I decided enough was enough.Jill and I met at the bottom of the stairs. She'd had the same luck as I had."Now what?" Let's ask Daddy."We went out to the patio. John was talking to Mom and looked bothered when Jill shook him on the shoulder."What?" Daddy? Do you know what happened to Wanda?" She's got to be around somewhere." Daddy, we looked all over." Geez, she can't just disappear. She was fine when I went to... Oh. Shit! Charlie. Do you remember Wanda coming back with us?" Uh, uh. I figured you knew she was talking to my parents."Jill dragged me back into the house. She picked up the phone and listened, then put it next to my ear. Stutter dial tone. Voice mail messages.She took the phone back and put. I blurt out, "I love trees!"Edward shakes his head in utter confusion. "What the....? I love trees too. What the hell does that have to do with anything?"I can tell he thinks I am crazy now. His eyes are wide and his face shaking in disbelief."I am sexually aroused by trees," I mumble while sobbing uncontrollably. "That is why I am so happy walking the parks with you."What seems like an eternity of silence follows."You... want to fuck trees?" he finally asks."No, Edward! I do not want to fuck trees!" I scream. "They just arouse me. I don't really know why. Their trunks remind me of your penis and your penis reminds me of their trunks. And I like tall trees and skinny trees and short trees, but especially trees with thick trunks. Those especially excite me I get excited to the point of orgasm just walking among them. I am a dendrophiliac, OK. Google it!"And with that outburst I break away, climb back into the car and speed off, leaving him dumbfounded.~~August 4, 2019 (continued)I am.
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